Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hey Diddle Diddle. Rich environments count!

Blogging Backwards....


Character day at Madison's Preschool

Im sure this day was more for the parents that the kids.

Here are some highlights.

Madison was Hey Diddle Diddle - The cat and the fiddle

Enjoy!

( Of course I made hey diddle diddle cup cakes! What did you think?! ------Sweet Cornbread cupcakes with honey buttercream frosting. From scratch.)










Follow your bliss! Cinnamon Mini Donuts

There are many people out there who scoff at a mother with a blog..They turn up their modern noses, too much time on your hands they say....true or false?? I dont know. I sometimes wonder how much of our time we use for us though.

 While Im sure it is super hard for many moms to find a minute, I do know that im a full time mom and wife and a teacher. I've cleaned and cooked sunday dinner and played elmos got the moves,  done mail correspondence and finalized a business deal all in one day and Im now here blogging after having baked treats. Im always working on personal projects ...My toddler thinks that we should SEIZE THE DAY , and so my "free" time is kinda limited. But I know that we live only once in this body..and we should make the most of it.

I read something today that moved me - FOLLOW YOUR BLISS!
That is powerful. Do what makes you happy. Make time for you. Or forever be bitter and scoffy.

I used to wanna grow up to be a power everything. But now I wanna be wise enough to realize what really counts. The more professional women get the more we are realizing that we just wanna be "women" Go figure.

With that said. What makes me smile? Baking little treats. Just the act alone is calming.

You know how all the cute stuff in the catalogs look great and you order them and then when they come they take up space in your cupboards and shelves?


  Well not so with my mini donut baking pan. I ordered it from Avon earlier this year - they have great baking goodies.  And so when the November calender on my baby's preschool calender said that it was someone's birthday on Monday, I thought what better way to start the week than to make some mini donuts to sugar rush all the kiddies on the birthday boy's day.

  Given that the recipe for the donuts that came in the box with the tray called for three eggs!!!, I figured um..let me find one online that only called for one. And all the other ingredients were in the cupboards.
And that I did.

Here are the results! Great mini donuts, with fall spices. Small enough for little tots and just enough sugar to make them feel like they are getting away with something we would normally take away.

Enjoy!


Baked Mini Donuts with Cinnamon sugar glaze.





Ingredients


How to:


  • In a bowl, mix flour, 1/2 cup sugar, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.
  • In another bowl, beat egg to blend with milk, 1/4 cup melted butter, and vanilla. Add flour mixture and stir just to moisten.
  • Spoon into well-greased mini muffin tins.
  • Bake in a 350-degree oven until golden, about 15 minutes.
  • Mix 1/3 cup sugar and cinnamon. Brush doughnut tops with 3 Tablespoons melted butter and roll in sugar/cinnamon.
  • Serve warm or cool. If making ahead, cool, then store airtight up to 2 days.
  • Makes: about 2 dozen.







Here are all of my ingredients laid out for easy reach. Including the flour mixture assembled.






Next I got the moist part of the mixture going. ( I blended it..I cheated...the butter was taking to long to un clump lol)

iI had to add a splash of milk to moisten the batter a bit more. It did the trick as the first pic shows it was stiff. You can try that,
And then placed it into the ziplock baggie as a make shift pastry bag.

NOTE: DO NOT USE A ZIPLOCK BAG. EITHER USE A PASTRY BAG OR A DURABLE PLASTIC STORAGE BAG THAT YOU CAN TIE!!! :-) I wish someone told me that. I definitely would not have had so much trouble.

The batter is kind of hard to maneuver into those donut holes. You've been warned. Practice makes perfect.






Now that the donut pan has been greased well and filled with the mixture. I popped it into the oven for about 10-15 minutes. You know your oven.





Lastly I warmed some butter and rubbed the tops of the donuts onto some warm melted butter. Then took them straight to the cinnamon and sugar mixture and rolled it in there.


The result sweet, soft, non-greasy mini donuts, with a fine glaze of sugar and cinnamon.

Placed in an airtight container so they stay soft for the tots. Maybe their teacher can give them a half of one each because these sweeties are sure gonna make their day! :-)



































Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Superwomen!

How do Mom's do it?

They're part alien thats how. Im sure God knew that we could survive no other way than to be made part alien.  We are definitely of a separate type of dust than men.

We carry another human being in our body for nine months and nurture them for goodness sake..and then the miracle of bringing a child into the world is an awesome and unreal thing for such "civilized creatures!!!

The Best thing that ever came out of Beyonce's mouth was when she said " strong enough to bear the children..then get back to business"...well actually she said 'bidness'...but us moms..we know how to decipher all types of babble....


I have to say that we often take for granted the well dressed mom that is punctual, kids are well dressed, she is organized and doesn't have a load of bags under her eyes and she is actually involved in her own personal pursuits and holds down a job and takes care of things at home too..WOW!!!! THATS A SUPERWOMAN.

Mothering is hard work for those who care enough to do it right, and for those that mother by default it is still quite a task...And I'm not even talking about raising them with morals and self esteem yet..that's a whole 'nother supernatural endeavour.

My days often involve getting up...hitting snooze twice, getting ready for work, making a morning bottle and ironing clothes..driving to drop off my baby girl, making sure I talk to her teacher about whats going on, speeding to work, burning tons of calories teaching and tearing my hair out in my classroom and trying to redirect energies of the drama in the workplace...get back home..breathe for 1 second - Literally....( half an inhale), and then play with the baby, surf the net  - if im lucky.  cook dinner, and then get her ready for bed...pack her bags and her lunch...by the time that I get to actually breathe and relax its like 12 a.m. and I've gotta do it all over again.

I'm not doing an all out tribute to "Baby Mamas" like fantasia..cuz youve gotta be REALLLLLLLY  a super woman or mildly crazy to have alot of kids without live in help or a married  or serious partner to assist. But this is a tribute to mothers everyone to say that I SALUTE YOU!!!!!!! I recognize that we do way more than people will ever realize having to work and do the home job.

SUPERWOMEN everywhere.....You rock!

Now back to "bidness". Word of the day Beyonce...for sure. :-)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Count it up to my karmic calories...cakies!


Vacation time for a working mother often means a long list of plans of what you wanna do that you never get to do.


  • nurture a plant
  • go to the beach at least once a week and relax to the sound of the ocean
  • go in the pool
  • read a good book
  • start a new hobby

etc....well these were things on my list....so what have i done with those things?


 ummmmm nothing. I did conduct a summer camp though so that beats all..lol

But hey, the summer is not over and I have time to do those things as well as create more to accomplish.


Here is one thing I was glad to accomplish.  I made cookies for my Madi's summer nursery pals!!!

Let's be honest..they wont even remember this..and theyre too young for me to be the "cool mom", but
it really made me feel good!

Motherhood is awesome, and its never too early to begin traditions.

I present to you like minded mommas a recipe shared by a good friend of mine, that I gave to all the little sweeties. Enjoy the pics and the recipes!

If Karma is still in the rewarding business then I'm sure my sweet treat is on the way....
  not because I deserve it....but because the person will enjoy doing it for me., by nature of who they are, just because they're awesome, and they realize how special it is to be apart of my world..as i realize with my baby and these little ones.

Oooey Gooey oh so good butter cakies!!







I like this recipe because it is soft for little toddlers to handle, especially with my Madi in mind since her teeth haven't all come in.  The cookies have a cake like texture, and are free of nuts and chocolate that could fuel allergies.
Wanna try it?
Here's my recipe.


Get these! your brands of choice
an egg, 8oz.cream cheese, stick of butter, sprinkles. yellow cake mix, confectioners or powdered sugar
and  pure vanilla extract

Until it looks like so.

It will have somewhat of a sticky texture.  no worries. Cover it with foil and place it in the freezer for 2 or 2.5 hours.

When you take it out. begin preheating our oven to 300-350 degrees, I used the lowest setting to avoid burning them.
Now.....go ahead and Slap it with a spoon..lol..yes I said slap it..and see if anything comes off on the spoon.

like this:

I slapped that batter like Tami did to Meka on Basketball Wives!

HAHHAHHAAA :-D

It didnt fight back! When yours does the same you know its for enough ad ready for baking



Now  roll them into one inch balls and then sprinkle each one with the confectioners/powdered sugar. It will get a little sticky if the weather is warm or humid. My technique was to do it fast and rinse my hands with cold water every now n then for a smooth clean surface to roll with.

It should look like this.:





Then pop em in the oven. Like this:

Well of course this was during baking...we have one very wayward cakie!


After about 7-10 minutes, check them to see if a fork poked int he middle comes out clean or the tops are  a little more golden (not brown) and to see if they are firm.
Cooking times will vary. 



Here they are all done and so nice!!!!!!





To you

From me!









Sunday, June 12, 2011

Semi Homemade - 1ST BIRTHDAY ( zebra diva safari)

  What a rush!


There is no joy like planning your baby's 1st birthday party.

 Of course I had to make it personal, fun and chic.


Everyone says that the 1st birthday party is all for the parents and kids dont know what's going on. Well I say, I've given her memories that will last a lifetime. What better way to be able to look back at her 1st birthday party when she is older, than in Zebra and Pink, Diva Safari Style.

I did all the details - the party pics in the cupcakes, the labels, the banners, the glittered clothespins, the marshmallow pops, zebra display boxes....etc....I've been busy! But it was all worth it!
 At the end of the day. like any party where things are out of your contorl, I had disappointments.

It rained - But the sun came out just before everyone arrived, and in enough time for me to get all the decorations out after the wind!!!! yay!

  I ordered and paid for my baby;s tutu outfit months in advance. The seamstresss told me she wanted me to pay upfront so she could start right away. And everytime I asked she said it was coming along fine..... only to have to wait til the day before her party to get her items because 2 days prior she was just trying to throw together the skirt, shirt not done, and the headpiece and skirt were NOTHING like what i showed her and pics I gave her. Can we say never again ??



. This means she couldnt have her professional pics taken for her album. or for it to be out at the party for guests to sign like I had pictured for so long. I WAS STEAMED! 


Anyway...scerrch! Moving right along. ( I don't wanna get miffed again.)

Madison looked lovely and felt like a princess in her tutu. She smiled when she put it on and went waltzing into the living room for grandma to seee. :-D



  Hope you guys enjoy the pics at least half as much as we enjoyed celebrating.  All in all it turned out well because my guests all made it, and didnt let me down even though it rained earlier. And Madison had a greaaaat time!



ENJOY!!!!

video



TU-TU Cute Cake pops, Super Safari Sugar Cookie, Cake and Smash Cake- Cindy Degregory - Take the Cake Bakery
Decorations: Banner, cupcake toppers, labels, water bottles - Mom ( that's me)
Food - Mom
Outfit and headband - Baby Boom Bahamas

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Ooooh Lala!

What a lovely Day!

  A little shampoo and suds around the toes can really invigorate a lady!

  I spent an awesome day at La Belle Beauty Salon and also at the Spa.

  First I got my hair done up. It was so wonderful to sit down and just get my hair done! Simple pleasures are appreciated so much more when you are a working mother!

  My spa experience had to have been THE highlight of my day.
 
   After my husband so graciously rang my phone wondering when I would get home so that he could go to play his Sunday game, I wondered aloud to myself.  Didnt he know it was Me day?

  I went to La Spa at Labelle and patiently waited on my appointment while a lady and her adorable 4 year old went in for mother and daughter pedicures. Listening to her excitement and restlessness was sheer comedy and chicken soup for my soul. :"The flower is tooooo small" she told the lady doing her pedicures. She was afraid her friends at swimming wouldn't be able to see it.  LOL!

  After waiting and having her come out and show me her awesome sparkly blue toes, I contemplated when I would take my little sugar dumplin' with me to get a pedi. :-)

  Once I sat in the chair and got that ooohhhhh so yummy warm neck roll, plunged my feet into a tub of warm brilliant blue water, and felt the vibrating massage of the comfy leather chair on my back...I felt soooooooooooooooo at ease and relaxed.


I plopped down and exchanged pleasantries with the "pedicurist" Tina ( I used that name because I am not sre of the true title) and then opened the latest edition of O magazine and got lost in the asian recipes and latest beauty miracles.

  " Are you O.K Dale?" She asked. " Would you like some tea?"  WOW!!!! I love tea. But I had to hide my excitement and politely asked for the choices and decided on some green tea. Ahhhhhhhh - the simple pleasures!!!!!


She bought it in for me and it was just the right temperature and just the right sugar.


 
  The calming sounds of the spa music playing and the water bubbling around my feet below me, coupled with her expert pedicure skills and my magazine!!!...welllll.....I was just having one of theeee absolute best half hours!



  After some time, I began asking her some beauty advice and she graciously obliged.

  I really appreciated that she had given me the time to unwind and knew that tea would have been a great compliment to the service and still was very friendly in talking to me about beauty treatments.

  Later on we shared conversation about our daughters, school, nail polish, beauty products, names, birthday parties and astrological signs.
 
  By the time I left I had shown her some of my party crafts and told her about the ocean of secrets in my purse. LOL
  She was absolutely wonderful!!! If you see her tell her I said so.

  What a wonderful day to spend an afternoon.

  Some people need roses, a lear jet, champagne, brunch, diamonds, ...etc.... But that me time was priceless for me.

  I left the plaza a few hundred dollars short of how I came in , hair - 18 inches of blown out highlighted remi, feet smooth and french manicured, hands trendy in OPI shattered polish  and a large exfoliating milk and honey spa scrub in hand.


 









But it was so worth it.


I came back home a less stressed wife and mom. And felt so happy that my mother took the time out of her day to stay with my baby girl while I was out being made to remember the joys of femininity.


 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Bring home the bacon...I mean fish.

  So whatd'ya know!
  My husband is a Wild Seaman!

  Well, he fishes real well! - I wonder if that's a word - fishes...I mean we dont pluralize the noun so why should we pluralize the verb? Smt...

So anyway - He went fishing and bought back a really huuge Gray tailed Snapper and a pair of delicious looking yellow tailed snappers that were just right size for plating and making a great meal.

What kind of 'oman would I be if I didnt serve them up with the utmost taste and in diligence and due course? (lmao)

I made the larrrrrrrge grey snapper into a stuffed baked dish with red potatoes and a salad..only to discover there was no salad dressing that old dumb refridgerator....so what did I do? MAKE MY OWN ..! Yaaay.

Here's my end result. Hope you try the recipe s yourself and enjoy. Siskel and Ebert (Husband) enjoyed it.



Baked Snapper, herbed red potatoes,  Red and green romaice and tomato tossed salad and steamed buttered edamame soy beans ( fav!)







\




Baked Stuffed Snapper  


( Shut the front door snapper!)     :-)




Ingredients:  ( Get yer tings tagedda)


Da fish - throughly cleaned and scaled.
Couple slices of bread ( I used whole wheat - the ends and regular pieces grated to about 2-2.5 cups)
1 cup pf Kerigold butter ( softened)
1/2 cup onion ( chopped really fine)
1 clove of garlic mashed and chopped
1/2 cup of lemon juice ( freshly squeezed from a lemon of course - hate that bottled junk)
2 tbls minced parsley
2 tbls minced thyme
Any other herbs of your choice that you think would be delightful
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 teaspoon crushed pepper ( or more if you like it extra hot)
1/2 cup of hot water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
PRE- PREP - - Using a very sharp knife, score the fish with two diagonal slices on each of its sides. Mix together some salt and red or crushed pepper with lime or lemon ( not specific measurements for this - you have to kinda mix it together with your own discretion) and SPARINGLY rub the seasoning into the scores. You DONT  want to season it alot like this because the stuffing seasoning will go a looooooong way. Too much pre prep seasoning will make it salty and spoil it all.

Now...
Grate the bread with the fine settings on the grater. Measure them into a bowl.  Then prepare and set out all of your ingredients.
 Heat butter in large non stick frying pan and add onion cooking slowly until onion is soft.  Then add garlic and simmer for a minute or two, stirring occasionally.
  Add to crumbs with a mixture of lemon juice, parsley, salt, pepper ( herbs), then slowly add in your hot water to the consistency you want the stuffing to be. ( Too much at once may make it soggy)
 Mix thoroughly.
  Pile stuffing into the  inside cavity of the poor fish, and then use toothpicks to close it all up. ( Before licking the yummy stuffing off your fingers please remember this is raw fish).
  Line a 13 by 9 inch pan with foil and then place the fish in there.
  Brush the fish with some E.V.O - extra virgin olive oil - keep it healthy.
Bake at 350 degrees for 35- 60 minutes depending on the size of fish.
I did about 40 minutes.

There was so much stuffing some leaked out - which is what you see around the fish.
Soooo juicy and delish!
Sorry no fancy smanshy plating.


The lemony goodness and the potency of the herbs were DIVINE!
This gets a thumbs up from me.





  For the salad dressing I just got about 2 cloves of garlic - chopped them and then mashed them with spoon with a tiny bit of salt and pepper, and then added some olive oil and splashes of lemon juice straight from a lemon.
 Shake vigourously to blend and then pour over salad. DIVINE!

Here's a recipe if you want to try it yourself. You will not want bottled dressing anymore!  And soo healthy.


  •                                              Lemony Garlic Salad dressing

  • 2 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
  • 1 small clove garlic, minced
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
  • 1/4 tsp.dry mustard
So...maybe you can ask you significant other to take you fishing so that you guys can catch a fresh fish together and try the recipe together as well. :-) 

Happy bellies!


  See ya next time - try it and let me know how it turns out guys.
 




Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Women waging war on marriage? Let the romantic expectations be unlearned.

  Hi Guys!!!!!!!!!!

They say if you wanna hide something from folks just put it in writing! But not so for my wonderful friends (YOU!)  Thanks for following once again!

So.....I'll just get straight into my "blogging" today.


 Having a conversation with a few colleagues today..and out of someone's mouth come the words : "Girl...don't do it!...Do not get married!"  

HMMMMMM........This was coming from more than one married woman in the room!

Remember the days when we used to hear that coming from men only? Like.."BRO...YOU POPPIN YA NECK?"
 and women would always be the ones saying : "Girll!...when are you going to do it?..do you think he will propose? .....You'll be next I knw it, dont worry!...You've gotta cook ofor him..keep him on his toes, dont give to much....you have to make him give you that ring!!!!!!!"..even to the ends of fixing coo coo soup - the ploy to snag a man that would "put a ring on it" was the ultimate goal......The days when marriage to women was the be all and end all of life ay..?..

Well!! Why then were these professional, "decent" , married ( un"hully gully") women, telling another  young woman not to do it, and essentially save herself?

Their main reasons were:


Everyday there's always something else, and you always are dealing with some stressful issue that they want you to get over and get over fast!




  1. Men change after you get married


Before
After Marriage






  1. Men are too laid back and the advancement and upkeep of the family all lies on the woman





  1. We play so many roles that we have no time for ourselves. While men feel free to continue life as usual. (hockey, baseball. drinks with the guys, fishing, golf, 7 days a week- SURE! NO PROB!)




  1. Men don't want vocal women, they prefer the passive aggressve types because any thing they don't want to talk about is nagging


etc, etc, etc...

--Basically they were saying its way too stressful to recommend anyone else do.

Truth or Fiction?

The Miseducation of Madison's Mom Numero Seis: (Thanks Dora!)

Well:

 In days past I remember, being the Romantic that I am. :-)  I wrote down my target date for marriage. Yes I said it. I wanted to be 25 years old...this was the prime age. I had prime candidates and terms of endearment all figured out.
Well as the universe would have it,  I actually was about to be married at exactly 6 months short of being 25~ To a most Romantic  trying to hump his "best" girlfriend, and perhaps others when I wasn't looking, but completely 100% perfect when I was around) guy..had a romantic engagement, falling into all my romantic plans........
   So when I had t relocate and I had to put off marriage plans, life was not reading my marriage schedule.
I ended up getting married later on at 29 years old.  With a romantic notion of marriage still.
Which is what most women do.

 Only to realize that marriage takes:
Patience, selflessness, sacrifice, swallowing your pride, swallowing your words, overlooking short comings, and tirelessly holding it all together.

We have to play so many roles that many women are stressed to capacity.

   When the romantic notion of marriage doesn't fit with the glassy eyed man that is sitting in his socks and boxers playing video games when the trash needs to be taken out or there is a hole in the wall where animals are crawling through to play along with him.
And when you are crying he stares at you and says "doh!'' like homer Simpson....what do you do...but think to yourself that marriage is not as "great" as you figured.

Once again- Miseducation is the cause.
We rarely approach marriage from a sober minded, mature and informed perspective; rather from one of romanticism , biological clocks and expectations.


And to be honest most men were not blessed with the best examples, and therefore dont know how to be good husbands, so we have to be understanding as well and so there is a battle on both sides of the fence.
So as wonderful as marriage can stillbe, there are obstacles abounding

We are battling to unlearn our romantic notions....still waiting on the prince charming of the fairy tales and movies.



We are battling to understand that men need us to understand, overlook and accept in marriages.


I personally believe that it is not marriage itself that determines your happiness quotient.but who you marry.
Marriage can be beautiful! Or a nightmare, depending on who are playing your lead roles.

But if we are listening to what most women are now saying.....
Does this mean that marriage really sucks and we ought to encourage our sisters to stand in revolutionary resolve against it and sing WAR to marriage and its confines of inequality and unfair tolerance from women ?


You be the jury.

(In the tune of Bob Marley's song War)

Until the philosophy which hold one gender superior
And another
Inferior
Is finally
And permanently
Discredited
And abandoned -
Everywhere is war -
Me say war.

That until there no longer
First class and second class citizens of any nation
Until the a man's gender expectations
Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes -
Me say war.

That until the basic human rights
Are equally guaranteed to all,
Without regard to gender-
Dis a war.

That until that day
The dream of lasting peace,
and no "nagging"Will remain in but a fleeting illusion to be pursued,
But never attained -
Now everywhere is war - war.

And until the ignoble and unhappy regimes
that hold our sister in holy matrimony,
Sub-human bondage
Have been toppled,
Utterly destroyed -
Well, everywhere is war -
Me say war.



Friday, May 6, 2011

"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." GARBAGE!

Hi ALL!!!!!!!

I missed you guys.

So listen - For the past few days now, Ive been singing James Brown.

Its's a MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'S WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know why?

  Well , before I was all married and mommy and stuff. I was the essence of Superwoman-whateveverdalewantshegets-becauseIhavethepowerofthewomb!!!!! ( I know you have to read that over to get it cuz I lumped all the words, so I'LL WAIT FOR YOU. ;-)    )

  I mean honestly..you know, we're young, at our most attractive (physically) and sexy..(lol) and we're the desire of men all around us. We get what we want, and we demand from our men how they will treat us, ..what we will and wont take, etc.  We go out, they pay for our drinks and our entertainment and they send us flowers and candy and take us shopping and do all sorts of romantic acrobatics for us.
  Everyone tells us that we have this"gift" and if a man really wants us we must make him work for us because we have the power!


MISEDUCATION NUMBER 5.. ( I think its five) - The woman is always in control because she has what a man wants. 

sCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERCH...Pump your brakes PLEAZZZZZE SOMEBODY!

Listen. The only reason that the woman is in control is because..she has WHAT A MAN WANTS! ( Yes I just repeated myself- But stay with me)
Not because she is "woman". Not because in his "Western Hemispherical thought eyes" we are goddesses and queens and he must have a piece of our royalty, because he needs our feminine touch and widsom.
We get what we want because we are at that time WHAT THAT MAN WANTS!
Are you getting into how deep this mess is?

See - case in point-
 If a man is crazy about you because you are a very  charismatic and beautiful, which in turn makes him feel alive and it impresses his friend which makes his status on the totem pole a little higher among his peers...If for some reason one day - you no longer impressed his crowd as much as you did before...and he tired of your "spunk" because he became "used" to it.  Or a m ore trophy wife or girlfriend spun into his circle....Do you think that you would still have the same power over him?
NOT!!!!!!!!!

Girl stop dreamin'.
 How many times have we heard that a man gets bored..or tired? We have to continuously jump through hoops of good cooking and cleaning, baking and shaking., keeping our bodies fit and our faces bright..and our attitudes right. Or ELSE we are warned - girl you ga cause that man look elsewhere!!!!!!
WTH!!!!!!!!! ( But the man ain ga cause us to look elsewhere if he is a lyin, no good cheat or a lazy unromantic ass  person though?)

We are merely the vehicle to that ego trip in the sky girlies.
Should you ever do anything to cause that man to lose his one way fast track of frequent flyer miles to ego land...Or another woman gets him there faster or more exciting"ly".....you my dear are a lost cause of a statistic!

Why do you think there is so much Hollywood Divorce? With people like J- LO, Halle Berry, Etc..these FINE, Accomplished women?
  Because the men are taking such high profile ego stimulants ( their beautiful and talented women) that they continuously need more and more to keep them going to Egoland.(More women and more variety- the king of the jungle is never fully fed)
The woman in his life loses her appeal  as the center of his universe and her ability to make him feel like the leader of the pack- and he strays...or the relationship falls apart. Sad but true.
It was never about the woman. ONLY about what the man needed and wanted.

Sound like a pessimist? My dear - It is only because I have been unlearned of that messy miseducation.

When "sure I'll do that now" turns to " you always naggin" - you're reign is over toots.

Know this - A smart woman who wants to maintain her power knows that she has to always sacrifice her inner diva, her superwoman, and make that man feel like a king!!!


If he is working over at Burger king, or making a $1,000.00 less than you.  If he has no ambition and only wants to be a TOOL in the box, If he has changed and no longer tried to impress you .....

 If your mouth is continuously white with hunger and your tongue parched and dry because he can't afford to bring home water - STILL massage him when he gets home.
Take off his shirt...feed him with scraps you have found and compiled into a meal!... Tell him how good he looks every morning (when he dresses up to go tow work to impress the ladies he works with, but forget to realize that you just spent $100 dollars on your hair or to tell you that your skin is remarkably dewy.)

And when he complains..just listen to him - dont explain yourself or argue.

 When he does wrong -overlook it and move on. Your feelings? WHAT FEELINGS? You are superandroid woman 2.0!!!!
If you want him to treat you right ( ditch the bargaining agreement just to keep that man home and sweet to you), then you must not ruffle the waters!  Suck it up and SHUT UP!


I do not care who you are or how wonderful of a man you have caught. ( Caught - because you are the lowly fisherman , snagging the poor man who has sustainance that you need). He will only be as good to you, as you make him feel about himself.

And should you be the superdiva, Goddess, descent of Kemet Royalty like I was  during my semesters of Mieseducation - you will find it hard pressed to seal your little lips and hold back your opinions on how selfish, thoughtless and insensitive a man is or how irresponsible he may act at times. But you BETTER!  Or else you will end up in a loveless marriage - or wandering from relationship to relationship - looking for what does NOT exist. A man that will cherish you just because you are good woman and nothing else.


Remember - Double standards only exist because Men are the head honchos. There is no equality in a hierarchy my dear! There is no equality in a hierarchy. NONE.


This is why we have to "wait"on them to be "ready". If a man isn't ready to be married, then ain nuttin happening!! Never mind that you are ready and its been YEARS... And he wants to do every married thing in the book. 


And let us not talk about how you have to go through the scrutiny of the mother making sure you are good enough for her good son. 


Perhaps you have 5 degrees and are multi-talented, good quiet girl who hasn't "been around the block?" Well. you're alright I guess. But You shouldnt expect a wealthy ambitious, romantic, pure man in return my dear. You may just get a fixer upper, and you better be ok with that !!
Because men marry "UP" all the time. They are entitled to be sorry and wutless and still get a good woman, because they are the squirrels - women are the nuts. 


Now there are lots of good men out there - but it doesn't matter how good they are) because its gonna boil down to: "you wanna get married so you ga be lucky if you find a good one who is ready. You better take what you get and stop being so picky! ( Oh but then you see the toothless garbage guy walking around with Vanessa Hudgens, cuz he deserves the best and need not settle!)


 And if you are tired waiting and insist on marriage  - oh my dear he is justified in bringing home the scratchiest of fleas to your bed because you pressured that poor man to marry you.

You have now been educated MY MODERN WOMAN FRIEND. Now you know why our mothers and grand mothers and older aunts and relatives knew all along - submission is happiness. The man gets what he wants - always. Give him what he wants, when he wants and how he wants - and you may just keep your perks.

The hand that rocks the cradle does exactly that - rocks the cradle. And shuts up about it too.
She is not the head honcho- she will never be, But she sure as hell is holding down the mess that this Mans world of war and barbaric negotiations, unfair distribution of wealth, fornication and glorified pimpdom that the men have created.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Friend is spelled differently when "you's Married"

  You sit in your rooms during slumber parties and obsess about your favorite dress; write down your bridesmaid's names and plan your whole ceremony.  Each of you sharing the intricacies of your "perfect day".  Perhaps it was a college dorm room, or the after work social atmosphere, but the bottom line is you were both unmarried and shared dreams of getting there - hopefully at the same time.

   So watch the paradigm shift  (a change from one way of thinking to another) now .

Miseducation of Madison's mom#1 - My friend will be so happy for me, even if I marry before she does!! 

 - This is not always the case my starry eyed friend. Let's not be near the old dirty 30 again .....
And dont let us be from one ragged relationship to another, and then your ass find Mr. Perfect, while we're swimming in a sea of players and bank loan ballers, flipping past a Wedding Story and sucking our teeth.

  Unless you have a friend with the purest of hearts, who truly has you at heart for who you are, or really doesnt see marriage as a big deal anyway, then you may encounter a bit of what I like to recall the reverse elation.
  When you are around - "YEA! Girl I am soo happy for you."
When you are not around, (and occasionally in their head when you are )- "This bitch  girl is always braggin' about this man. She really thinks that she is the cat's meow now...chal' i hope he don't hurt her ..
(eyebrows raised in longing anticipation)

And lets not get around to the wedding plans when they want to make it all about them and don't want to wear the dress you chose and dont want to wear the style you chose and damn near act like they are the main event. :D - You see they are only acting out because of all the pent up reverse elation.

  It may sound cruel. And many of you may deny that you are that friend or that you have that friend, but we all do...trust me. Dont expect your friend to "feel" happy for you, because they may not feel happy about not being married in comparison or may be married and unhappy, and there you go finding love- fresh young love.

  But when you have one that friend that genuinely is there for you  and is happy and does not show her ass self off. You've got a winner in the friends department! And that leads us to number 2


Miseducation Note 2 -  "Being Married doesn't mean that you will not spend time with your friends anymore. Youre married now thats all. 

  This has to be the biggest misconception EVER!!!  Listen sweety - life simply takes you for a wild ride. Here are some guidelines for the unmarried and the married that I had to learn the hard way.

1.) You cannot sit up for hours in the people house talkin bout you "visitin". (Wearin shirt showin all ya breas') They really don't want you there. Unless they say they do - in which instance still go!
Life is so hectic - people who are married and have careers and kids rarely have time to spend together. So you being there for hours only makes it worse. Besides the man may wanna scratch his ass butt and walk around in boxers, but you just keep on staying..and staying...and staying.......
This is not your friends single pad or your dorm room anymore.  Take your single butt home..or better yet go out and find some fun. You might meet a guy or have fun with the one you are with.

2.)  She cannot stay out all night with you. Even if her husband is super cool ( like mine** plug - advertisement) and doesn't mind, its just not that kind of party anymore. So don't expect to paint the town red with her every weekend. She may just be too tired too anyway,- she's gotta cook and stuff. :-)

3.)And if youre both married - oh well..that even makes it worse to find the time. sighhh

Good friends make time for each other regardless. But it will never be as much as it was before!  However, you will love the little time you do spend together doing simple things like dinner or drinks or relaxing - even more.

 Miseducation Note 3 - We're friends, I can trust her and tell her anything about my relationship.

SCERRRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCH. Pleeeeeeeeeaze pump your brakes!

You maaaay be blessed to have a friend that you can really break it down and talk to and cry to and there are no judgements or gossip after, but what are the reprecussions of telling the wrong one?

1.) Be prepared that she will use your dillemma for pillow  talk.

2.) Be prepared for her to tell EVERYONE how you are ALWAYS complaning ( nevermind she didnt tell you that while she was patronizing you)

3.) Be prepared for her to silently bask in the fact that your perfect lil patoutie is miserable.

4.) Be prepared for her to float on a cloud of your misery. What I mean is that she will use your misery as a sort of comparative chart where she stacks herself up to you and your hubby and then floats on how much better her life, husband, situation is. With people like this little Fake Fran - you will only be fueling her little rose colored vehicle that she can ride off into the sunset in.
Why let someone use you to get their jollies?  The next time you go to tell all - think about the romance you may be inciting when she hangs up th phone and kisses and massages her hubby because she is thanking God she didnt get yours!

5.) She really don' care to hear about it...really.

You may be lucky like me to be a really good friend and have some in return, but remember that miseducation you received at that slumber party or in that dorm room.....those fuzzy brain fairy tales...THROW THEM OUT...I had to.

The beginning of the Miseducation of Madison's Mom

  If the fairy tales of the Prince Charming that sweeps you off of your feet, and carries you to Happily Ever After, where The Stork makes intermittent visits to deliver children, was any indication of what being married with a child/children is like, then I have definitely been jipped!
My Prince Charming didnt swing me around and shout: "We're having a baby!" when I announced the big news. He never went out for late night cravings, never wanted to rub my back or feet, and told me that because I couldnt lift heavy objects and had nausea that was horrendous -  I must be milking my pregnancy.
  Did I say Charming? ...Well, perhaps the charm came when he gave me a pedicure when I could no longer see or reach my feet, and perhaps how he would shake the baby's hand in my tummy, or sit with me and assure that he was there for me when I was hormonal and sure that everything was falling apart.  Perhaps it was when he would tell me he had no idea why anyone thought my nose was large or that I was unattractive, and still took me out to eat  (Even though I and everyone else knew that I was looking quite AWFUL!.. :-) What a guy!  :-) >3 So...perhaps charm doesnt alwaysc ome in the package that we were expecting it to.
  The most charming thing about my prince would have to be the way he stayed by my side when the Stork came to visit us for the first time. He was there for as long as I wanted him to be, and whenever I called.  He stayed until the Stork rested her safely in my arms.
Did I say Stork? Well...Noone told me that the lovely, white ,fluffy, graceful looking bird with the neatly tied bundle was actually 17 hours of labour!
The painless, stretchmarkless Stork promised to me in all the countless story books I read, manifested as shameless moaning and groaning in pain. Trying to convince the doctors that I needed a bathroom and painkillers.
All those times I had sat in Birthing classes with my doula and announced that I was going AU Natural as the Superwoman who's body was made to give birth - was now coming back to haunt me.  Au Natural I went, ....earning my womanhood.
And when my eyes met my baby girl ...and Prince Charming's eyes met mine..he looked at me and kissed me..all was right with the world again!
What beautiful eyes! Oh how she stared into my soul! Was she living inside of me all along? A baby so beautiful, with eyes so wide and wise and brave? How many more hours of labour -AU Natural I would have braved again with my Prince just to have my healthy, smiling, beautiful baby girl, all ten fingers..all ten toes....beautiful and healthy.  And her Name suited her wonderfully I knew in that very moment. My Madison Danielle Marshall.
The fairy tales may not have gotten it quite right.......but there is still so much beauty in the truth to be told.
This was only the beginning..of the Miseducation..of Madison's Mom.