TELL THEM.

Walking out of one appointment and heading to another yesterday morning, feeling a little blue, I saw a little girl, about 6 years old, walking with what may have been her grandmother. She had her hair plait in tiny cornrows, and a light green gingham print summer dress, and sandals. Dark Chocolate skin and slender little legs. None of which caught my eyes as much as the realization of what she was...a bud. A diamond in the rough. Innocent. A promise..A legacy in the making......BEAUTY! To me she was the epitome of pretty! Without even remembering how she looks....that wasnt what I saw....

 As I approached my car, I stopped and wiggled my fingers at her and smiled. She wiggled hers back with a small questioning smile ( like who is this lady? I don't think I know her)

 When she was within air shot I said: 'Good Morning Pretty Girl!' That Happy-to-see-you  tone evident in my speech.
She replied Good Morning and kept walking with her guardian.
I opened my car door  and put my purse on the seat as I always do before I get in.
But she slowly turned around and looked thoughtfully a me with her hands in her 'kimber.' ( akimbo)

"WHY YOU CALL ME PRETTY?!? "  She demanded.

and with a bittersweet knowing-ness,I said: "BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

Her grandmother chuckled proudly and I waved them goodbye ( late for my workshop already)

As I plugged my iPod into the audio jack...and hit shuffle... here came the song "Just the Way you Are". by Bruno Mars. TALK ABOUT THE UNIVERSE AND ITS DRAMATIC EFFECTS!!!!!

Here are the beginning  lyrics for those who dont know it.


Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday (yeahh)

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me "Do I look okay? "
I say

[Chorus:]
When I see your face (face face...)
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)


I thought that was (SO AMAZING) No pun intended. That that song would play first on my shuffle.

I thought of how we all need to hear those words. I thought of what else she may have been called and believed already. I thought about how she didnt fit what t.v and music videos and boys we went to school with thought of as 'pretty".
 I thought of how adamant she was about knowing my "reason" for calling her pretty.

 I cried...tears of joy,...tears of sorrow.Knowing she was just one. But what about the others.
I cried because I had a feeling no one would tell her how much she was worth. I was afraid that life would tell her lies..like it had me. 

I cried because I knew that I now had a responsibilty to tell my daughter everyday. I knew I had a  responsibility to tell all that I could..those simple words that could change a life if told before its too late...before the wrong person realizes the power of those words and uses them to ill effect.....


I hope you hear me.....




TELL THEM. 

Mirror on the wall...

Lately I've found myself getting lost in myself.


  Have you ever played so many roles at once that you become disoriented about your purpose?


Have you ever felt like the 'you', you didn't know you anymore?


You looked in the mirror and saw someone who was so many things to so many people and yet didnt remember what it was like to just be herself?


I know Im not the only new mom that feels that way...perhaps not even the only woman period, that feels this way!


I used to always yearn for these labels ( as the teens and twenty somethings do) : Professional, entrepreneur, wife, mother.........


But Now it all seems like just labels on a travelling chest, showing my travaills along life's path. Im seeing the souveniers and the pictures of times past...but who am I really now? What next? What do these labels really mean? Am I the same me that I was before I had them? Whats changed?


How do you find the time, energy and frame of mind to reconnect with yourself?


Im thinking ..frivolously of course.....a makeover,....me time retreat inclusive of some pampering, and maybe some alone time spent in solemn self reflection and setting steel resolves....


I heard someone say yesterday : YOU CANNOT LOVE WHAT YOU DO NOT VALUE....And I thought to myself. Suppose you don't even know what you are? How do you value something when you cant really and truly define the essence of it?


We need to be able to answer these questions..so that we can be a guiding light to show our children where to look for the same....


Who are you to you today?


What is your value?


How easy is it to answer that.? Even more interestingly..How hard?......




Take a long look in the mirror...and I know this is Cliche..but BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!!!!


 ( Taking my own advice)

 Sunday Dinners in the Bahamas are known for rich, traditional comfort foods in large servings!

Recently I decided to take a step away from the same old and plan my monthly meals in advance.

Doing so helped me to generate a list of recipes and all of the shopping needs for those recipes which equals TRYING NEW THINGS. EATING FRESH AND MAKING NEW TRADITIONS.

So this month we'll be having everything from baby back ribs to mozarella turkey tacos!! Yummmmmy

This last Sunday I chose to stick with the rich comfort foods, but with a little twist.

What better than a juicy roast with mashed potatoes and a fresh salad?
Except I remixed it with some garlic, rosemary and red wine in all the right places.
This is definitely a go-to recipe for all you moms and wives who want something that is delicious, melt in your mouth, comforting, and impressive.
(Besides the roast takes like 2-3 hours in the oven which lets you multi-task :-)  )

This is definitely a recipe I will pass on to my daughter, and one that will be a family favorite for many years to come.

Enjoy!!!!!


Melt in your mouth Merlot Roast and Roasted Garlic Red potatoes!


Melt in your mouth Merlot Roast 


Ingredients 

1 (3 to 4-pound) boneless chuck roast

1 teaspoon Homemade Seasoning Rub, recipe follows

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

beef broth

1 cup thinly sliced onion wedges

3 cloves garlic, crushed

2 bay leaves

1 (10 3/4-ounce) can cream of mushroom soup

1/4 cup red wine ( a dash more if you like :-)  )

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

4-5 baby Bella mushrooms - optional

2-3 Sliced carrots -peeled and optional

Seasoning Rub

House Seasoning:

• 1/8 cup salt
• 1/8 cup black pepper
• 1/8 cup garlic powder

( 1/8 - half of a 1/4 cup measure)

Mix ingredients and store in an air tight container for up to 6 months. You can put it into a seasoning shaker and season your roast as needed. 

Crushed garlic, homemade seasoning rub, onions, mushrooms and roast

 By the way - crushing garlic is really easy. There's a great video tutorial hat shows you how.
  Here>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoYYX_SpV7I

Bay leaves, red wine, beef broth, cream of mushroom, Worcestershire sauce, olive oil

First I like to prep all of my ingredients first by measuring them out or cutting them up and neatly arranging them on my prep station.  This makes cooking more enjoyable for me, when its organized. 

Once thats done. Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.

Add the House Seasoning, salt and pepper to a small bowl. Sprinkle on and Rub seasoning into the roast on both sides. Heat oil in a large skillet and brown the roast, searing it on both sides. 

Sear it til its brown and juicy on both sides in  large skillet.

Place the meat in a roaster pan or a deep baking pan, I prefer a glass baking pan. Add onions and garlic to skillet for 1 to 2 minutes to absorb leftover roast juice. Place into roaster pan with meat and bay leaves.

After sauteeing the garlic and the onions in the same pan with the leftover juices from the roast, here they are poured over the roast in the baking pan, atop Bay Leaves.

Combine the mushroom soup, wine, Worcestershire sauce and 1/2-1 can of beef broth - about 4-5 ounces ( depending on how much liquid you want, 1/2 can is plenty in my opinion) . Pour over the roast.

Yummy! And it smells delicious after about 5 minutes in the oven!! Winner!

Cover pan with foil and bake for 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours or until tender ( depending on the size of your roast

During the last hour of baking you can add the sliced mushrooms and cur carrots if you wish. I did!!

Remove and discard the bay leaves.

You can choose to slice your roast, or serve it in large cuts.

Pair it with mashed potatoes ( recipe below) , a  crisp salad with green lettuce, radishes, mozarella, cherry tomatoes and carrot shavings, and Italian dressing, and a corn on the cob for a beautiful and rich Sunday Dinner delight!

Instead of me sharing my total meal 'after' picture..WHICH WAS DELIGHTFUL!! I want you to try the recipe and share yours!!!

I cut it in large cuts, served with these>>> Red Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes ( click link) and garnished it with a small pool of gravy atop the mashed potatoes and a sprig of parsley. DELISH!!!!!!!!!

The feminist movement - The "Man's" cruel, evil, genius plan

  I have come to realize that this feminist revolution is of the devil.

Should Oprah have had children and a "husband" would she still have been the powerhouse she is?

The role of wife and mother, and professional is exceptionally demanding. And it often makes me question if in fact we were built to do all of them simultaneously or if we are to choose a path and follow it with singleness of purpose.

  After a 8 or 9 hour day of "hustling" to build your legacy and wealth, how much do you really and truly have left mentally and emotionally to give to a toddler, or teenager?

After dealing with clients all day and often times employers or employees with varying personalities what tolerance do we have for a man coming home after facing the same?

Yet many women do this....and are exhausted as hell!!!

Did we burn our bras for this?

The conspiracy theorist in me says that feminism was a plot of a man to get women out into the world so that they would inevitably spend less money, work less hard, all while making us feel empowered.
And we shaved our armpits and put on those high heels, burned the bras and hopped into the high powered male arena making less and getting less respect, like good girls, and still have to come home and cook his animal carcasses and take care of the house and the kids alone because that's still " a woman's job".......Priceless!

Dare I say that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, but the world is asking for us to rock less and less and work more and more. Taking our Primary focus away from the home and our loved ones.

In my miseducation the aim was to "BE INDEPENDENT"  "BUY YOUR OWN" "HAVE A CAREER"and at the same time be a lady worthy of a man's affection and a keeper of his home.

But wait a minute....Are women not already making a man's life work and purpose a little easier by not only being a wife and mother,but by going out and working so he doesn't need a 2 - 3 job hustle or a conglomerate, to make life run smoothly in the household?  So why am I to be a lady and play down my success to feed a man's ego and then put on high heels and serve steak and a smile with MAC lipgloss and feathered hair? Am I not logically too damn tired after being a man and woman all in one day?

For this reason I now know that the new education for our daughters should be to:

1.) Know thyself.
2.) Follow your passion with wholeheartedness

and if love should "find you" along the way.....

3.) Make sure that mofo can afford you the luxury of hiring a housekeeper, because there is no reason you should not be able to have time to feed your passions because you were washing dishes or folding laundry.

The trickle down effect -

• Men will be trained to "make themselves worthy of a wife and to take care of a family" and not vice versa. 
• In the family partnership it is no surprise that the man wins big time...so who is the prize possession? And who should be worthy of that? And who should "study to show themselves approved"?  
• My dream is to hear a young boy being fussed out that he should get it right if he ever wants to find a wife. 

But you don't hear me though.....

I am a traditional woman at heart. I love the "hustle" of creative ideas being bought to fruition and having projects seen to completion, networking and being successful, but when it becomes a shackle because you are doing it out of NEED to provide, and not because it needs you and begs you to manifest it, and you love every minute of it, then we have just kicked ourselves and our own daughters in the butt, forcing them into an "independent" lifestyle ill-prepared..When the love for family and taking care of home tires them and hustle comes to a grinding halt... hubby still has enough life on his status bar to stay on the grind. Fair?? NEGATIVE.

Want your daughters to be independent?  Teach them...

THAT: "should love scrape its knees on the floors of life chasing after you and you (our little girls) oblige it....do not be afraid to ask..'what are you bringing to the table?, because if you want pretty little dinners on yours when you get off, I'm gonna need you to afford me the time to follow my passions and still have the time to be happy doing that for you.