Get REAL !!!

In quantum physics, theory states that "An object does not exist independently of its observer!"...which means things don't exist until we pay attention to, or look at it, or perceive it. I don't know about y'all but THAT'S HUGE!!!!!!!!!!! #EPIPHANY

I've always been of the conviction that when we have a problem we should look at it from every angle. Study it, figure it out, worry and lose sleep over the pros and cons of it and then formulate a plan.

But if we were to take the approach that Quantum Physics suggests in theory, to our thoughts , that "An object does not exist independently of its observer!"..... THEN IT MEANS THAT OUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS HAVE NO LIFE UNTIL WE DECIDE TO LOOK AT THEM, STUDY THEM AND BREATHE MEANING INTO THEM.

Even if the theoretical magic of quantum physics does not lend itself to our cerebral outpourings, can it be applied with the same effect?

I put it to the test myself. Having been confronted with strong emotion, rejection or resentment, I chose to BREATHE through the emotion, letting it pass over me, rather than become a part of me. I allowed myself to feel it, without actually focusing on it. I focused on my breathing..the energy emanating from my hands..feet.....body...and focused on the present moment..until all I felt was peace.

Talk about a "Peace that surpasses all understanding!" 

Ever had a WOW moment? Well I love Oprah, but pardon me for one second because "aha!" will not do justice to the realization in that moment.

It gave a whole new meaning to the term "Get real!"

At that point I was in control. My thoughts were bought to subjection. And I was not a slave to the person or thing that was the catalyst for setting off those thoughts and resultant emotions in me.

It was the beginning of an unlearning...the  burning of a miseducation.....creating my own REAL!

Do you dare to get REAL? 

The Ramen Noodle life transformation

It's January 7th.... 7 days into the new year, and some people are already about that Ramen noodle  life. How many ways can you fix 30 cent noodles until you realize that this is crazy?!

Christmas and the jollification of the holidays came and went and most of our dollars with it.
But besides the constant brainwashing of consumerism, what else is to blame?

How many of us are dining on the choicest canned meats and unnamed animal body parts in the struggle to make it to pay day?

Are you stretching that perm? Limiting those car runs? Sweating out your makeup because you wanna conserve ac? Drinking all the company coffee and tea in a fight til time to go home?

Santa is not pleased.

"You've been bad...."

 Are we bought up in a culture that promotes paying ourselves first, saving our money and planning for the things we desire, investing or spending responsibly?

And if we aren't, how can we change that for future generations?

1.) Do our kids have a piggy banks that we encourage them to fill before they invest their money into the latest trend or tempting sweets?

2.) Do we introduce the concept of "saving" and "bank" and "cost" and "expenses" and "wealth" early in life?

We've started the concept of saving early....

3.) Do we make the topic of consumerism a table topic? Do we teach our kids to be informed consumers and to research their investments or do we let them fall prey to marketing and peer pressure by showing them that we're willing to survive on suspect proteins and starches just to keep up with the Joneses?


Start today. Our future begins with the making right of our wrong doings by teaching and doing a new thing. Tuna salad and rice anyone?

One man's trash...

Recently I've had the good fortune of HAVING to clear out the trunk of my car....

Fun right?  ( Insert dancing emoticon.animation here)

So I decided to tackle the old slouch bags in my closet too. You know the ones that we always throw "meaningful" things into and forget them once the day is done. Only to have em catch dust in the corner of our closets.

Old pictures, magazines, love letters, unfinished projects...... So many new opportunities to re-energize, remember, restart, and reminisce. Who knew how cathartic throwing out old crap really is?

It wasn't only a lesson in how to hoard less when you have to, it was an epiphany.

Energy cannot be destroyed! Ok..so I didn't discover that principle/theory. But as I rumbled through, sorting, throwing out and gathering together, I realized that :

1.) Throwing out things we no longer use doesn't destroy their memory or the chance of them being needed later on. It helps us to learn the lesson of letting go of what no longer serves us without forgetting it. We can throw it away and regain the energy that holding on to things that no longer serve us, is draining.

2.) Holding on to things that we know will help us can force us to action to rekindle what we have lost sight of.

A picture of our former healthy bodies, or a smile that we no longer know...a project to-do list unanswered...a book unread....

What unfinished business do you have lurking in your closets. trunks, drawers...

What energy do you need to reclaim or transform? 

The other Great Equalizer

It has been said that education is the great equalizer of peoples, but verily I say unto you....

The great equalizer of women is not education...,it is "the other woman"

A man will SHAME you with the "other woman".

 After you have toiled and tired at making yourself 'elite' enough AND "Refined" enough, and after you've touted all your natural beauty and elegant regalia and flaunted your educated opinion, and are worthy to be called "wife material" or "professional", it is then that he will HUMBLE you with the most ratchet of selections. 

Sadly the first to read this blog and say "not me".  He may just be working to make you apart of the club.

Am I a woman scorned? Hardly. Just a woman who has taken off the rose colored glasses and embraced that the previous ideals were apart of my Miseducation.

Am I saying that all men are inevitably unfaithful? Trick Question. Well,  No. .....But in the event that he is....Don't ever compare yourself to the other woman or "measure up" and feel bad about yourself, because it hardly ever has anything to do with you.

You could be a beaut!, brilliant! Charismatic! It DOES NOT matter.

Whether or not we leave a man behind after infidelity, be sure that you bear in mind this:

The motive for cheating doesn't require smarts or beauty or an ideal package to be fulfilled!

Just a paper bag..and an alibi!,,,and THAT levels the playing field!

Be good luvs!

ENOUGH??

8 hours..a sore throat..a headache. tense shoulders..school pickup..a lively toddler.....a sink of  dishes and a faceless skinned chicken breast later..I asked myself. Is this everything?!

Is this all?!

Do you have energy to pursue your passions when your obligations pull you in every direction but the pillow?

The Ambitious woman choosing a life of motherhood and a profession that is not the be all and end all of her personal goals soon realizes that 24 hours is not enough. Unless you have support. But some things can be neglected in the thirst for "More" from life; Namely yourself!

One day it hit me. What else do I want? And WHY?

Is M-O-M not enough? Is ME not enough?

When I leave this earth where does my legacy lie? In the projects I've done? In the professional seat I've warmed day to day decorated by critique and protocol? In the letters behind my name?

What will really count when my daughter has to go out into the world as an independent person? Will it be how many people that believe that Im worthy? Or how many things that validate my worth?


What is ENOUGH for you?

What part of you is enough?....... What part of you will you leave behind?

I'm not a blogger, I just think alot...

  Kudos to all the persons out there that are actively involved in blogging and maintaining their blog.

The cool backgrounds and layouts and giveaways and allll that jazz are so delicious!!!!

Somehow though, a 9-5, a family, hobbies, and obligations sometimes make it hard for blogging mom's to stay on top of things. You've gotta manage your time like to the letter!

Many people ask me..where do you find the time! And I dont even have a fancy blog. lol

  Blog topics can swirl around in our heads all day and by the time we are able to sit still and actually relax...who wants to do something other than a mindless activity!? (Just me? O.K)

 So to all the fabulous mom bloggers out there, I tip my cheese doodle-late -night-snack to you and all your free time having selves!!!


  With that said....I just want to conclude with this..>>>.Great posts to come!!...I'm working on a whole BUNCH of new things.Im so EXCITED! Definitely adventuring! I cant wait to share with you!!!!!! As soon as my baby girl decides to stop mixing water on the living room floor, trying on my highest heels, plastering her body with her skin cream and drinking the bubble solution instead of blowing it, I'll be right on it.

But for now..my blogging hiatus is explained as such....Im not a blogger, I just think alot.

Cheers!

Monst..I mean Mother-In-Law anyone?

Every woman that has had a serious relationship before has met her partner's ( DUN-DUN-DUN- Scary movie music) Mother.

For most women it's a somewhat intimidating experience, for the most obvious reason of course; and that is..Even if you are dating the toothless, balding spawn of Satan, his mother will scrutinize you to make sure that you are a worthy sacrifice for her "good child"

In Bahamian cultures, you have to worry about being pretty enough, not too "black", questioned about who your "people" are, what you do for a living, and made to prove yourself as a "good Christian girl " before you can earn the blessings of mother dearest.

Once the "blessing" is received by Pope John Mother however, the game has just begun.
Through observation, ( my perpetual disclaimer - because I have not experienced any of this first hand, ehem) There are 3 main types of mothers that we encounter.

1.) Queen of Spades-

 This mom calls a spade a spade. She does not cloak her son's behavior, will not cover for him when side chicks call the house or "drop by"; will listen objectively to a situation that you two are having and be fair in her advice or counsel. She may or may not genuinely love and accept you as her daughter in law, but as a person, she is beautiful to a point of being fair and unbiased. 

Should you date a man with this type of mother, not only are you blessed to be safe to start a "friendship" - calling to say hello and how are you., gift giving, lunch, etc...But you should have a pretty solid, understanding guy that will be willing to not only admit his wrongs, but make them right. And whats better, you love mom so much that you and possibly your children in the future have a better relationship with your husbands family because if the bonds that you both create.

2.) The Joker -

 This mother will be cordial. She will pretend to be evolved enough to accept you for the wonderful, intelligent, kind and/or successful woman that you are, or even just because you love her son. However, beware!!!!!!!!!!!!! This mother is the queen of disguise. Even if she knows her son is slicker than grease, lies more than a dead fish in a fishbowl, or is as romantic as mud , she will always. always, always make her arms and ears a shelter and will give him the reassurance that you are a/the problem.
If you have been "blessed" to have such a mother-in-law or your significant other's mom. Your best survival tip is to just know that he will run to her, and just know that she will keep you the villain at all costs, and be ok with that.  Because she will be all fake smiles when you come around.


Case in point - A friend of mine's husband told his mother that his wife didn't want him to go anywhere  and made noise about him doing anything he enjoyed. The mother's advice - Don't let "her" stress you. Remember you are the head of the house. You're a MAN , you're supposed to go out.'

What that mother did not know was that he was working  from morning til night fall, and on off days and weekends going out to have recreation for at least 5 hours at a time, so that his wife, a working woman, had to play single mother to their son, clean the house, cook the food and rot. (even on her off days, and he refused to help pay for a sitter or housekeeper.) Her free time and recreation as a working individual and woman? Nil. And that wasn't up for discussion.

The mother never suggested taking his wife on a date once every two weeks. She never asked do you spend any time with your family and do something special to balance your much needed time to yourself. She never asked what he was doing or did to ensure that his wife also was entitled to her downtime. She just made the woman a villain straight away, and further made their marriage difficult.

And whenever the wife was around, mommy dearest was all smiles and niceness.

3.) Queen of Hearts -
Without too much details - Just know that she is the Queen of his heart.

Case in Point - As a guy proudly told me that his mother always reminds him  - "I am your Earthly GOD" she says. Wow.......

So you dear girlfriend/wife/fiance- -. Thou shalt not smell thyself and think that you, your ideas, or your needs will EVER come before her and her desires and plans. And further more, You'll never be good enough.

That's it.

The suggestion for you?  -RUN!!!!! I'll wait.


Can I get a witness?