Monday, December 17, 2012

The other Great Equalizer

It has been said that education is the great equalizer of peoples, but verily I say unto you....

The great equalizer of women is not education...,it is "the other woman"

A man will SHAME you with the "other woman".


 After you have toiled and tired at making yourself 'elite' enough AND "Refined" enough, and after you've touted all your natural beauty and elegant regalia and flaunted your educated opinion, and are worthy to be called "wife material" or "professional", it is then that he will HUMBLE you with the most ratchet of selections. 

Sadly the first to read this blog and say "not me".  He may just be working to make you apart of the club.

Am I a woman scorned? Hardly. Just a woman who has taken off the rose colored glasses and embraced that the previous ideals were apart of my Miseducation.

Am I saying that all men are inevitably unfaithful? Trick Question. Well,  No. .....But in the event that he is....Don't ever compare yourself to the other woman or "measure up" and feel bad about yourself, because it hardly ever has anything to do with you.

You could be a beaut!, brilliant! Charismatic! It DOES NOT matter.

Whether or not we leave a man behind after infidelity, be sure that you bear in mind this:

The motive for cheating doesn't require smarts or beauty or an ideal package to be fulfilled!

Just a paper bag..and an alibi!,,,and THAT levels the playing field!

Be good luvs!









Tuesday, November 6, 2012

ENOUGH??

8 hours..a sore throat..a headache. tense shoulders..school pickup..a lively toddler.....a sink of  dishes and a faceless skinned chicken breast later..I asked myself. Is this everything?!

Is this all?!

Do you have energy to pursue your passions when your obligations pull you in every direction but the pillow?

The Ambitious woman choosing a life of motherhood and a profession that is not the be all and end all of her personal goals soon realizes that 24 hours is not enough. Unless you have support. But some things can be neglected in the thirst for "More" from life; Namely yourself!

One day it hit me. What else do I want? And WHY?

Is M-O-M not enough? Is ME not enough?

When I leave this earth where does my legacy lie? In the projects I've done? In the professional seat I've warmed day to day decorated by critique and protocol? In the letters behind my name?

What will really count when my daughter has to go out into the world as an independent person? Will it be how many people that believe that Im worthy? Or how many things that validate my worth?


What is ENOUGH for you?

What part of you is enough?....... What part of you will you leave behind?



Thursday, August 2, 2012

I'm not a blogger, I just think alot...



  Kudos to all the persons out there that are actively involved in blogging and maintaining their blog.

The cool backgrounds and layouts and giveaways and allll that jazz are so delicious!!!!

Somehow though, a 9-5, a family, hobbies, and obligations sometimes make it hard for blogging mom's to stay on top of things. You've gotta manage your time like to the letter!

Many people ask me..where do you find the time! And I dont even have a fancy blog. lol

  Blog topics can swirl around in our heads all day and by the time we are able to sit still and actually relax...who wants to do something other than a mindless activity!? (Just me? O.K)

 So to all the fabulous mom bloggers out there, I tip my cheese doodle-late -night-snack to you and all your free time having selves!!!


  With that said....I just want to conclude with this..>>>.Great posts to come!!...I'm working on a whole BUNCH of new things.Im so EXCITED! Definitely adventuring! I cant wait to share with you!!!!!! As soon as my baby girl decides to stop mixing water on the living room floor, trying on my highest heels, plastering her body with her skin cream and drinking the bubble solution instead of blowing it, I'll be right on it.

But for now..my blogging hiatus is explained as such....Im not a blogger, I just think alot.

Cheers!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Monst..I mean Mother-In-Law anyone?

Every woman that has had a serious relationship before has met her partner's ( DUN-DUN-DUN- Scary movie music) Mother.




For most women it's a somewhat intimidating experience, for the most obvious reason of course; and that is..Even if you are dating the toothless, balding spawn of Satan, his mother will scrutinize you to make sure that you are a worthy sacrifice for her "good child"

In Bahamian cultures, you have to worry about being pretty enough, not too "black", questioned about who your "people" are, what you do for a living, and made to prove yourself as a "good Christian girl " before you can earn the blessings of mother dearest.

Once the "blessing" is received by Pope John Mother however, the game has just begun.
Through observation, ( my perpetual disclaimer - because I have not experienced any of this first hand, ehem) There are 3 main types of mothers that we encounter.





1.) Queen of Spades-

 This mom calls a spade a spade. She does not cloak her son's behavior, will not cover for him when side chicks call the house or "drop by"; will listen objectively to a situation that you two are having and be fair in her advice or counsel. She may or may not genuinely love and accept you as her daughter in law, but as a person, she is beautiful to a point of being fair and unbiased. 

Should you date a man with this type of mother, not only are you blessed to be safe to start a "friendship" - calling to say hello and how are you., gift giving, lunch, etc...But you should have a pretty solid, understanding guy that will be willing to not only admit his wrongs, but make them right. And whats better, you love mom so much that you and possibly your children in the future have a better relationship with your husbands family because if the bonds that you both create.











2.) The Joker -

 This mother will be cordial. She will pretend to be evolved enough to accept you for the wonderful, intelligent, kind and/or successful woman that you are, or even just because you love her son. However, beware!!!!!!!!!!!!! This mother is the queen of disguise. Even if she knows her son is slicker than grease, lies more than a dead fish in a fishbowl, or is as romantic as mud , she will always. always, always make her arms and ears a shelter and will give him the reassurance that you are a/the problem.
If you have been "blessed" to have such a mother-in-law or your significant other's mom. Your best survival tip is to just know that he will run to her, and just know that she will keep you the villain at all costs, and be ok with that.  Because she will be all fake smiles when you come around.


Case in point - A friend of mine's husband told his mother that his wife didn't want him to go anywhere  and made noise about him doing anything he enjoyed. The mother's advice - Don't let "her" stress you. Remember you are the head of the house. You're a MAN , you're supposed to go out.'




What that mother did not know was that he was working  from morning til night fall, and on off days and weekends going out to have recreation for at least 5 hours at a time, so that his wife, a working woman, had to play single mother to their son, clean the house, cook the food and rot. (even on her off days, and he refused to help pay for a sitter or housekeeper.) Her free time and recreation as a working individual and woman? Nil. And that wasn't up for discussion.

The mother never suggested taking his wife on a date once every two weeks. She never asked do you spend any time with your family and do something special to balance your much needed time to yourself. She never asked what he was doing or did to ensure that his wife also was entitled to her downtime. She just made the woman a villain straight away, and further made their marriage difficult.

And whenever the wife was around, mommy dearest was all smiles and niceness.





3.) Queen of Hearts -
Without too much details - Just know that she is the Queen of his heart.

Case in Point - As a guy proudly told me that his mother always reminds him  - "I am your Earthly GOD" she says. Wow.......

So you dear girlfriend/wife/fiance- -. Thou shalt not smell thyself and think that you, your ideas, or your needs will EVER come before her and her desires and plans. And further more, You'll never be good enough.

That's it.

The suggestion for you?  -RUN!!!!! I'll wait.


Can I get a witness?








Monday, May 28, 2012

Wendy's Philosophy. Conference with Madison, Freud, Dave and Me,

At about 18 months when my daughters vocabulary began to expand enormously, I noticed that she would call every man "Daddy"

On the line in Wendy's, I noticed that she was looking at another man with glasses, and saying : "Daddy"


Aside from being embarrassed that he might think I'm a baby mama who's child didn't know their daddy; I was concerned because I needed to know why my baby girl was confused about identifying her father all of a sudden.

She kept doing this, and I kept getting my share of the Maury Povich glare from strangers.






As weeks went by, we found ourselves back in Wendy's, and suddenly it hit me. When she called another man on the line "Daddy" I said to her. "No baby...say Man. That's not Daddy. That's a man"

As we sat down at a table in the restaurant to have our usual lunch date, a picture of "DAVE" the Wendy's founder guy, was on the wall. Madison pointed to it and said "See Man."




I was so excited! "Yes baby.. that's a man."

Then she pointed at an elderly gentleman in the restaurant and said "See Man..fries..."

"Yes baby...the man is eating his fries." She smiled! I smiled! We had a breakthrough. She now understood that we don't call all males 'daddy'. These species were called men, and only one out of millions in the world, is your father.

I took out my wallet and showed her a picture of her dad. "Who is this baby?" I asked.

"Da-dee" she said!


She's never had a problem confusing them again.


What it told me was that Freud was on to something. ( DUH.....LOL) And it made me question exactly how deep the whole psychology of Daddy being the model of man for a woman, is.

Do we as women and adolescent girls see our Daddy as THE model for man?


And if so how much do our fathers, their presence or absence distort or create our entire experience of men and relationships with men?







Implications.....I'll allow you to form your own based on your experience with or without your father.





Just something to think about.




Sunday, April 15, 2012

Empowering victims? How NOT to teach your child to tie their shoelaces





Once upon a time..minding my own business....

I overheard a father say to his young toddler son in a waiting area : "Boy,  you need to learn to tie your own laces. You have to know how to do things for yourself." 
"If you don't know how to do things for yourself, a woman is gonna have to do it for you and then she's gonna treat you bad!"

At the time I didn't think about it too deeply. I figured he was just making a joke for the female adults around him to hear, because surely his toddler had no clue what he was implying. So I smirked, not amused, and went about reading my magazine.



But there came a Sunday, when I was feeling liberated and decided not to cook an early meal, but to go and get my hair washed and blown out instead and enjoy some me time instead.

I thought to myself. Is this what that man meant? Am I starving my husband and "doing him bad" as the man suggested, by not cooking an afternoon Sunday meal as I usually did? Although he can handle himself in the kitchen...what about men who cannot?

Then it hit me. This is exactly what we do to subconsciously put our children in the victim's chair mentally and emotionally.

By saying he was to learn to be efficient and do things for himself, it was toward the goal of avoiding being "treated badly" by a woman. A woman who didn't choose to do his bidding, lets say if he was in the proverbial doghouse. What that statement said was :

a.) You must protect yourself against the evil woman son
b.) A woman will use any moment available to have an upper arm on you, so you must arm yourself





So not only is he teaching him that the woman is the enemy, but that she is inherently manipulative and that he should be wary of her and defensive against her. That he would acquire skills just so that he wouldn't fall victim to manipulation!
 The child hardly knows the difference between girls and boys yet  and is being indoctrinated!

Many mothers and fathers are guilty of this.

A more empowering statement would have been.


Come on. Let's tie your laces. You must practice so that you can become very good at it. Then every will see how smart and capable you are!!





And if he wanted to use a woman in his parable, he could have stated further: When you grow up a woman is going to admire you because you are so smart and you can get things done so well!"

Look at how that changes the whole mindset.

The woman is now someone who will admire him because he is capable. She is a person that respects a strong capable mate. And, it would also help him to understand that he would be in the position to do things for his mate as well because he has value and efficiency.

And should he ever be in the proverbial doghouse, Hopefully he would see it as an opportunity to write a laundry list of how much he appreciates the things his mate does on a daily basis, when she decides not to do them.




Ok...so I'm reachcing there ..just a tad.

But, seriously, we all know growing up we were told to be smart or tidy or careful, not because of how it would build our character and integrity, but because of how it would stop some evil from befalling us.


Let's be mindful of how we scold and praise our children, so that we don't sit them in the victim's chair and load them with bitter doctrines before they've had a chance to truly live their own lives.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

Prince Harry the Great!

Brethren can we candidly speak?

I dont mean to get all "righteous fist" movement on you guys, but there is DEFINITELY something bothering me this week.

So, all the headlines were screaming of PRINCE HARRY'S VISIT to the Caribbean,  like Jamaica, Belize and of course here in the Bahamas.


 Well! I must tell you it was quite the uproar here. Grown women and little girls alike having both fleeting and arduous fantasies of capturing the Prince's heart as he came to visit our city. Well we wouldn't have had all those years of Cinderella fantasy brain washing go to waste now would we?


If my daughter's school were taking a troop to see the Prince, I assure you that I would first ask her, how she felt the King should be preparing to meet Princess Madison instead.

Why all of this focus on exalting the "royalty" of a stranger when our children and Princes and Princesses in their own right, and right here on our own soil everyday?!

  Now I don't mean to be so bold and by no means am I being disrespectful, but WHY ARE WE SO OTHERWISE HYPED ABOUT THE PRINCE VISITING?


How did all the pomp and pageantry negate that we are no longer of the "British colonial" all hail the king/prince/Queen mindset" ? Having our students get together like good little colonized boys and girls to do songs and dances to welcome British Royalty to our Island and roll out the red carpet for him? Hospitality??  o.k. I can accept that.


And, Yes I get it, he was showing that he was down to Earth by grooving with natives and dancing and merry making, and this was both delightful and refreshing. I am sure the Prince is a wonderful man.


  But to celebrate him coming to tell us..( and I paraphrase) .'.youre good lads and lasses, the Queen says you're great.  'What kind of 14th century madness is this?!



Oh and lets not forget the catapult in fame for our current Miss Bahamas as she got a chance to speak with him and wisely tangle her name with his in the headlines surrounding his visit. ( Disney music for when Harry met Anastagia plays in the background.)


But what REALLY grinds my gears is an article that I read, about an extraordinary girl named Anna, from the Island of Abaco, who is blind, and yet rose to the title of Student of the Year among Primary Schools in the Bahamas, who says: "Although I am blind, I do not accept this as a disadvantage," 

Here is an excerpt from a story I read on http://www.looktothestars.org/news/7987-prince-harry-attends-youth-rally-in-bahamas.




After His Royal Highness left she said: "Oh my gosh, it was amazing to meet Prince Harry. I was so excited and I just loved it and can’t wait to tell my family about it. He was very friendly and he was asking me about my speech, how old I was and where I was from. He asked me if I had been blind since birth.
“After my speech he congratulated me and said: Well done. All of the children I sit with at school were like: Oh my gosh, if it was us. They were so excited I was meeting him.”
In his short speech, Prince Harry told the youngsters: “I know Her Majesty would wish me to extend her personal encouragement to you all in your endeavours, whether they be in education, civic and community activities or in the sporting arena. In being here, taking part in the national youth rally, each and every one of you is promoting admirable morale, social and patriotic values.”
Prince Harry was clearly impressed with what he saw, telling them: “Basically you’re doing your country proud, and don’t you look smart. The Queen would be delighted by this and, on her behalf, I congratulate you all.”

Read more: http://www.looktothestars.org/news/7987-prince-harry-attends-youth-rally-in-bahamas#ixzz1oXxOAoVA


 I LOVE THE FACT that Prince Harry took the time out to sit with Anna, and he must have absolutely made her day! She now felt like all of her hard work and determination was being recognized worldwide.
However, I am saddened by the fact that a simple Well Done, and a few mundane questions, and a pat on the back to this extraordinary, focused,, and talented young girl was enough, just because he was a "Prince."
I am sure that her own teachers and parents have said and done more to empower her over the years. But for some reason this Amazing child, was made to feel validated by the visit and "well done" of a prince who knew nothing of her struggle but a cover note.
 As if she was being put on a platter to say, here Prince, here is a worthy lamb for you to carry news of to the Queen.. When in essence, HE was in the presence of Greatness!!!!

And so it is with the whole Prince comes to town fiasco. "The prince runs with Usain Bolt", "The Prince dances the jig with residents", ..but How is the king changing the face of these places that he has visited besides proclaiming their shores touched by a demi god?

Our children do not need to be taught that greatness lies outside of them to those privileged by birthright, but that greatness is born of nobility, dreams, focus, recovering from failure, enterprise, endurance, smart work, networking, wisdom and love. 

I want to roll out a red carpet and have some Demi-god status for the people that are actually making a difference in our lives and in our children's lives.

Yes to some degree we all should have a posture of respect for person who have risen to levels of authority and hierarchy in their respective homes, and hospitality is definitely a must. But for us to pretend that a mystical, magical air of fortune has befallen us because the Prince has come is nonsense. Especially when we are looking our own Princes and Princesses in the face everyday.


*whispers - (FOLLOW ..I know you all love reading, appreciate your comments.....GO AND FOLLOW!)

Peace and Love!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Listen you Transformers!!!.....

iTunes on Shuffle...... #np Pass me over. Anthony Hamilton......
And its NAP TIME..The best time of day ( Martini glass *cheers* to all my mommy's out there!)


Hey guys...I've been Burdened by some B words lately.


Some B words that have become too commonplace as adjectives, synonyms and definitions of women. Let's call them TRANSFORMERS.


BITTER.........BITCH.........BAGGAGE





           BAGGAGE              BITTER                BITCH


How do you like them bad boys?


Its not strange for us to hear ourselves and women that we know equated with these heavy 10 pound words. Sometimes they use 'em all in one sentence about 1 solitary woman. 


They tell a story though. 
A story of a woman that is no longer her ORIGINAL, SINGULAR SELF.


It tells a story of a woman that has been, TRANSFORMED...if you will....into something lesser, heavier and darker, because of her building walls and adorning her self with jaded attitudes due to negative experiences, emotions and encounters.


In my Miseducation, I can recall how I figured: 

Being a "grown up" would somehow work it all out. I would finally get a chance to be ME. And do MY things. And go where I want. And be who I am.

But how quickly life showed me that BEING A GROWN UP IS THE ONE THING THAT WILL TEST WHO YOU REALLY ARE. And it's then up to you to show the world that what you're made of is greater than the lessons; greater than the painful realizations; greater than the people that manifest truths and evils in our lives.

When we carry people from one lesson to another - Baggage.
When we carry disappointment from one lesson to another and guard our hearts with swords and anger- Bitch
When we carry poison from our painful experiences into new encounters and mingle them together - Bitterness

Then we become defined and derailed by the things that are suppose to help us define ourselves.


We all have these low points that make or break us. Can I get an Amen? 


For me, This is When I asked God to allow me to be open to the truth of the Universe and not my emotions. And do you know that in this 2012, iPhone era, of this attend-church-only-once-in-a-while-woman's life God answered me!?! 


God allowed the universe to speak to this emotional Cancer, fairy-taled, miseducated female clearly....


Here is the truth that he shared with me, that I now share with you and welcome you to post on your mirrors, on your hearts in your wallets, on your doors, and in your little girls ears.....


THE TRUTH: 

You do not have to hate a thing in order to release it. When you hate and despise, you change yourself, you kill your own spirit. When you exact revenge, the thing you despise is controlling YOU, and YOUR emotions...and YOUR thoughts and ordering YOUR steps. BE STILL. Meaning...still love, still remain calm, still show kindness...and simply remove yourself from the source of your discontent...reevaluate, learn the lesson, and emerge stronger, and still YOU. MY GOD! What a revelation! What is controlling you?


Love you all! 


Dont forget to leave me notes and comments so we can share! 


*whispers* - follow!!!!!  

Thursday, February 23, 2012

TELL THEM.




Walking out of one appointment and heading to another yesterday morning, feeling a little blue, I saw a little girl, about 6 years old, walking with what may have been her grandmother. She had her hair plait in tiny cornrows, and a light green gingham print summer dress, and sandals. Dark Chocolate skin and slender little legs. None of which caught my eyes as much as the realization of what she was...a bud. A diamond in the rough. Innocent. A promise..A legacy in the making......BEAUTY! To me she was the epitome of pretty! Without even remembering how she looks....that wasnt what I saw....

 As I approached my car, I stopped and wiggled my fingers at her and smiled. She wiggled hers back with a small questioning smile ( like who is this lady? I don't think I know her)

 When she was within air shot I said: 'Good Morning Pretty Girl!' That Happy-to-see-you  tone evident in my speech.
She replied Good Morning and kept walking with her guardian.
I opened my car door  and put my purse on the seat as I always do before I get in.
But she slowly turned around and looked thoughtfully a me with her hands in her 'kimber.' ( akimbo)

"WHY YOU CALL ME PRETTY?!? "  She demanded.

and with a bittersweet knowing-ness,I said: "BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

Her grandmother chuckled proudly and I waved them goodbye ( late for my workshop already)

As I plugged my iPod into the audio jack...and hit shuffle... here came the song "Just the Way you Are". by Bruno Mars. TALK ABOUT THE UNIVERSE AND ITS DRAMATIC EFFECTS!!!!!

Here are the beginning  lyrics for those who dont know it.


Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday (yeahh)

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me "Do I look okay? "
I say

[Chorus:]
When I see your face (face face...)
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)


I thought that was (SO AMAZING) No pun intended. That that song would play first on my shuffle.

I thought of how we all need to hear those words. I thought of what else she may have been called and believed already. I thought about how she didnt fit what t.v and music videos and boys we went to school with thought of as 'pretty".
 I thought of how adamant she was about knowing my "reason" for calling her pretty.

 I cried...tears of joy,...tears of sorrow.Knowing she was just one. But what about the others.
I cried because I had a feeling no one would tell her how much she was worth. I was afraid that life would tell her lies..like it had me. 

I cried because I knew that I now had a responsibilty to tell my daughter everyday. I knew I had a  responsibility to tell all that I could..those simple words that could change a life if told before its too late...before the wrong person realizes the power of those words and uses them to ill effect.....


I hope you hear me.....




TELL THEM. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Mirror on the wall...

Lately I've found myself getting lost in myself.


  Have you ever played so many roles at once that you become disoriented about your purpose?


Have you ever felt like the 'you', you didn't know you anymore?


You looked in the mirror and saw someone who was so many things to so many people and yet didnt remember what it was like to just be herself?


I know Im not the only new mom that feels that way...perhaps not even the only woman period, that feels this way!


I used to always yearn for these labels ( as the teens and twenty somethings do) : Professional, entrepreneur, wife, mother.........


But Now it all seems like just labels on a travelling chest, showing my travaills along life's path. Im seeing the souveniers and the pictures of times past...but who am I really now? What next? What do these labels really mean? Am I the same me that I was before I had them? Whats changed?


How do you find the time, energy and frame of mind to reconnect with yourself?


Im thinking ..frivolously of course.....a makeover,....me time retreat inclusive of some pampering, and maybe some alone time spent in solemn self reflection and setting steel resolves....


I heard someone say yesterday : YOU CANNOT LOVE WHAT YOU DO NOT VALUE....And I thought to myself. Suppose you don't even know what you are? How do you value something when you cant really and truly define the essence of it?


We need to be able to answer these questions..so that we can be a guiding light to show our children where to look for the same....


Who are you to you today?


What is your value?


How easy is it to answer that.? Even more interestingly..How hard?......




Take a long look in the mirror...and I know this is Cliche..but BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!!!!


 ( Taking my own advice)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

 Sunday Dinners in the Bahamas are known for rich, traditional comfort foods in large servings!

Recently I decided to take a step away from the same old and plan my monthly meals in advance.

Doing so helped me to generate a list of recipes and all of the shopping needs for those recipes which equals TRYING NEW THINGS. EATING FRESH AND MAKING NEW TRADITIONS.

So this month we'll be having everything from baby back ribs to mozarella turkey tacos!! Yummmmmy

This last Sunday I chose to stick with the rich comfort foods, but with a little twist.

What better than a juicy roast with mashed potatoes and a fresh salad?
Except I remixed it with some garlic, rosemary and red wine in all the right places.
This is definitely a go-to recipe for all you moms and wives who want something that is delicious, melt in your mouth, comforting, and impressive.
(Besides the roast takes like 2-3 hours in the oven which lets you multi-task :-)  )

This is definitely a recipe I will pass on to my daughter, and one that will be a family favorite for many years to come.

Enjoy!!!!!


Melt in your mouth Merlot Roast and Roasted Garlic Red potatoes!


Melt in your mouth Merlot Roast 


Ingredients 



1 (3 to 4-pound) boneless chuck roast
1 teaspoon Homemade Seasoning Rub, recipe follows
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
beef broth
1 cup thinly sliced onion wedges
3 cloves garlic, crushed
2 bay leaves
1 (10 3/4-ounce) can cream of mushroom soup
1/4 cup red wine ( a dash more if you like :-)  )
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
4-5 baby Bella mushrooms - optional
2-3 Sliced carrots -peeled and optional


Seasoning Rub


House Seasoning:

  • 1/8 cup salt
  • 1/8 cup black pepper
  • 1/8 cup garlic powder
( 1/8 - half of a 1/4 cup measure)
Mix ingredients and store in an air tight container for up to 6 months. You can put it into a seasoning shaker and season your roast as needed. 


Crushed garlic, homemade seasoning rub, onions, mushrooms and roast
 By the way - crushing garlic is really easy. There's a great video tutorial hat shows you how.
  Here>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoYYX_SpV7I


Bay leaves, red wine, beef broth, cream of mushroom, Worcestershire sauce, olive oil
First I like to prep all of my ingredients first by measuring them out or cutting them up and neatly arranging them on my prep station.  This makes cooking more enjoyable for me, when its organized. 
Once thats done. Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.

Add the House Seasoning, salt and pepper to a small bowl. Sprinkle on and Rub seasoning into the roast on both sides. Heat oil in a large skillet and brown the roast, searing it on both sides. 

Sear it til its brown and juicy on both sides in  large skillet.


Place the meat in a roaster pan or a deep baking pan, I prefer a glass baking pan. Add onions and garlic to skillet for 1 to 2 minutes to absorb leftover roast juice. Place into roaster pan with meat and bay leaves.

After sauteeing the garlic and the onions in the same pan with the leftover juices from the roast, here they are poured over the roast in the baking pan, atop Bay Leaves.

Combine the mushroom soup, wine, Worcestershire sauce and 1/2-1 can of beef broth - about 4-5 ounces ( depending on how much liquid you want, 1/2 can is plenty in my opinion) . Pour over the roast.

Yummy! And it smells delicious after about 5 minutes in the oven!! Winner!

Cover pan with foil and bake for 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours or until tender ( depending on the size of your roast
During the last hour of baking you can add the sliced mushrooms and cur carrots if you wish. I did!!
Remove and discard the bay leaves.
You can choose to slice your roast, or serve it in large cuts.
Pair it with mashed potatoes ( recipe below) , a  crisp salad with green lettuce, radishes, mozarella, cherry tomatoes and carrot shavings, and Italian dressing, and a corn on the cob for a beautiful and rich Sunday Dinner delight!


Instead of me sharing my total meal 'after' picture..WHICH WAS DELIGHTFUL!! I want you to try the recipe and share yours!!!
I cut it in large cuts, served with these>>> Red Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes ( click link) and garnished it with a small pool of gravy atop the mashed potatoes and a sprig of parsley. DELISH!!!!!!!!!












Monday, February 6, 2012

The feminist movement - The "Man's" cruel, evil, genius plan

  I have come to realize that this feminist revolution is of the devil.

Should Oprah have had children and a "husband" would she still have been the powerhouse she is?

The role of wife and mother, and professional is exceptionally demanding. And it often makes me question if in fact we were built to do all of them simultaneously or if we are to choose a path and follow it with singleness of purpose.

  After a 8 or 9 hour day of "hustling" to build your legacy and wealth, how much do you really and truly have left mentally and emotionally to give to a toddler, or teenager?

After dealing with clients all day and often times employers or employees with varying personalities what tolerance do we have for a man coming home after facing the same?

Yet many women do this....and are exhausted as hell!!!

Did we burn our bras for this?

The conspiracy theorist in me says that feminism was a plot of a man to get women out into the world so that they would inevitably spend less money, work less hard, all while making us feel empowered.
And we shaved our armpits and put on those high heels, burned the bras and hopped into the high powered male arena making less and getting less respect, like good girls, and still have to come home and cook his animal carcasses and take care of the house and the kids alone because that's still " a woman's job".......Priceless!


Dare I say that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, but the world is asking for us to rock less and less and work more and more. Taking our Primary focus away from the home and our loved ones.

In my miseducation the aim was to "BE INDEPENDENT"  "BUY YOUR OWN" "HAVE A CAREER"and at the same time be a lady worthy of a man's affection and a keeper of his home.

But wait a minute....Are women not already making a man's life work and purpose a little easier by not only being a wife and mother,but by going out and working so he doesn't need a 2 - 3 job hustle or a conglomerate, to make life run smoothly in the household?  So why am I to be a lady and play down my success to feed a man's ego and then put on high heels and serve steak and a smile with MAC lipgloss and feathered hair? Am I not logically too damn tired after being a man and woman all in one day?



For this reason I now know that the new education for our daughters should be to:

1.) Know thyself.
2.) Follow your passion with wholeheartedness

and if love should "find you" along the way.....

3.) Make sure that mofo can afford you the luxury of hiring a housekeeper, because there is no reason you should not be able to have time to feed your passions because you were washing dishes or folding laundry.

The trickle down effect -

  • Men will be trained to "make themselves worthy of a wife and to take care of a family" and not vice versa. 
  • In the family partnership it is no surprise that the man wins big time...so who is the prize possession? And who should be worthy of that? And who should "study to show themselves approved"?  
  • My dream is to hear a young boy being fussed out that he should get it right if he ever wants to find a wife. 
But you don't hear me though.....



I am a traditional woman at heart. I love the "hustle" of creative ideas being bought to fruition and having projects seen to completion, networking and being successful, but when it becomes a shackle because you are doing it out of NEED to provide, and not because it needs you and begs you to manifest it, and you love every minute of it, then we have just kicked ourselves and our own daughters in the butt, forcing them into an "independent" lifestyle ill-prepared..When the love for family and taking care of home tires them and hustle comes to a grinding halt... hubby still has enough life on his status bar to stay on the grind. Fair?? NEGATIVE.

Want your daughters to be independent?  Teach them...

THAT: "should love scrape its knees on the floors of life chasing after you and you (our little girls) oblige it....do not be afraid to ask..'what are you bringing to the table?, because if you want pretty little dinners on yours when you get off, I'm gonna need you to afford me the time to follow my passions and still have the time to be happy doing that for you.