I missed you guys.
So listen - For the past few days now, Ive been singing James Brown.
Its's a MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'S WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know why?
Well , before I was all married and mommy and stuff. I was the essence of Superwoman-whateveverdalewantshegets-becauseIhavethepowerofthewomb!!!!! ( I know you have to read that over to get it cuz I lumped all the words, so I'LL WAIT FOR YOU. ;-) )
I mean honestly..you know, we're young, at our most attractive (physically) and sexy..(lol) and we're the desire of men all around us. We get what we want, and we demand from our men how they will treat us, ..what we will and wont take, etc. We go out, they pay for our drinks and our entertainment and they send us flowers and candy and take us shopping and do all sorts of romantic acrobatics for us.
Everyone tells us that we have this"gift" and if a man really wants us we must make him work for us because we have the power!
MISEDUCATION NUMBER 5.. ( I think its five) - The woman is always in control because she has what a man wants.
sCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERCH...Pump your brakes PLEAZZZZZE SOMEBODY!
Listen. The only reason that the woman is in control is because..she has WHAT A MAN WANTS! ( Yes I just repeated myself- But stay with me)
Not because she is "woman". Not because in his "Western Hemispherical thought eyes" we are goddesses and queens and he must have a piece of our royalty, because he needs our feminine touch and widsom.
We get what we want because we are at that time WHAT THAT MAN WANTS!
Are you getting into how deep this mess is?
See - case in point-
If a man is crazy about you because you are a very charismatic and beautiful, which in turn makes him feel alive and it impresses his friend which makes his status on the totem pole a little higher among his peers...If for some reason one day - you no longer impressed his crowd as much as you did before...and he tired of your "spunk" because he became "used" to it. Or a m ore trophy wife or girlfriend spun into his circle....Do you think that you would still have the same power over him?
Girl stop dreamin'.
How many times have we heard that a man gets bored..or tired? We have to continuously jump through hoops of good cooking and cleaning, baking and shaking., keeping our bodies fit and our faces bright..and our attitudes right. Or ELSE we are warned - girl you ga cause that man look elsewhere!!!!!!
WTH!!!!!!!!! ( But the man ain ga cause us to look elsewhere if he is a lyin, no good cheat or a lazy unromantic
We are merely the vehicle to that ego trip in the sky girlies.
Should you ever do anything to cause that man to lose his one way fast track of frequent flyer miles to ego land...Or another woman gets him there faster or more exciting"ly".....you my dear are a lost cause of a statistic!
Why do you think there is so much Hollywood Divorce? With people like J- LO, Halle Berry, Etc..these FINE, Accomplished women?
Because the men are taking such high profile ego stimulants ( their beautiful and talented women) that they continuously need more and more to keep them going to Egoland.(More women and more variety- the king of the jungle is never fully fed)
The woman in his life loses her appeal as the center of his universe and her ability to make him feel like the leader of the pack- and he strays...or the relationship falls apart. Sad but true.
It was never about the woman. ONLY about what the man needed and wanted.
Sound like a pessimist? My dear - It is only because I have been unlearned of that messy miseducation.
When "sure I'll do that now" turns to " you always naggin" - you're reign is over toots.
Know this - A smart woman who wants to maintain her power knows that she has to always sacrifice her inner diva, her superwoman, and make that man feel like a king!!!
If he is working over at Burger king, or making a $1,000.00 less than you. If he has no ambition and only wants to be a TOOL in the box, If he has changed and no longer tried to impress you .....
If your mouth is continuously white with hunger and your tongue parched and dry because he can't afford to bring home water - STILL massage him when he gets home.
Take off his shirt...feed him with scraps you have found and compiled into a meal!... Tell him how good he looks every morning (when he dresses up to go tow work to impress the ladies he works with, but forget to realize that you just spent $100 dollars on your hair or to tell you that your skin is remarkably dewy.)
And when he complains..just listen to him - dont explain yourself or argue.
When he does wrong -overlook it and move on. Your feelings? WHAT FEELINGS? You are superandroid woman 2.0!!!!
If you want him to treat you right ( ditch the bargaining agreement just to keep that man home and sweet to you), then you must not ruffle the waters! Suck it up and SHUT UP!
I do not care who you are or how wonderful of a man you have caught. ( Caught - because you are the lowly fisherman , snagging the poor man who has sustainance that you need). He will only be as good to you, as you make him feel about himself.
And should you be the superdiva, Goddess, descent of Kemet Royalty like I was during my semesters of Mieseducation - you will find it hard pressed to seal your little lips and hold back your opinions on how selfish, thoughtless and insensitive a man is or how irresponsible he may act at times. But you BETTER! Or else you will end up in a loveless marriage - or wandering from relationship to relationship - looking for what does NOT exist. A man that will cherish you just because you are good woman and nothing else.
Remember - Double standards only exist because Men are the head honchos. There is no equality in a hierarchy my dear! There is no equality in a hierarchy. NONE.
This is why we have to "wait"on them to be "ready". If a man isn't ready to be married, then ain nuttin happening!! Never mind that you are ready and its been YEARS... And he wants to do every married thing in the book.
And let us not talk about how you have to go through the scrutiny of the mother making sure you are good enough for her good son.
Perhaps you have 5 degrees and are multi-talented, good quiet girl who hasn't "been around the block?" Well. you're alright I guess. But You shouldnt expect a wealthy ambitious, romantic, pure man in return my dear. You may just get a fixer upper, and you better be ok with that !!
Because men marry "UP" all the time. They are entitled to be sorry and wutless and still get a good woman, because they are the squirrels - women are the nuts.
Now there are lots of good men out there - but it doesn't matter how good they are) because its gonna boil down to: "you wanna get married so you ga be lucky if you find a good one who is ready. You better take what you get and stop being so picky! ( Oh but then you see the toothless garbage guy walking around with Vanessa Hudgens, cuz he deserves the best and need not settle!)
And if you are tired waiting and insist on marriage - oh my dear he is justified in bringing home the scratchiest of fleas to your bed because you pressured that poor man to marry you.
You have now been educated MY MODERN WOMAN FRIEND. Now you know why our mothers and grand mothers and older aunts and relatives knew all along - submission is happiness. The man gets what he wants - always. Give him what he wants, when he wants and how he wants - and you may just keep your perks.
The hand that rocks the cradle does exactly that - rocks the cradle. And shuts up about it too.
She is not the head honcho- she will never be, But she sure as hell is holding down the mess that this Mans world of war and barbaric negotiations, unfair distribution of wealth, fornication and glorified pimpdom that the men have created.